I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away
by PhantasmagoricPhantom
Summary: Aki decides to spend a week with his best friend, Hitsugi. But Aki is secretly in love with his best friend and Hitsugi has no idea. The week will be interesting to say the least. Inspired by Apocalyptica songs/lyrics. Short, sweet, multi-chapter story.
1. Dirty Little Secrets, Dirty Little Lies

_I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away_

_Dirty Little Secret, Dirty Little Lies._

_Summary: _Aki shows up drunk at Hitsugi's house one day and decides to spend the rest of the week with his friend. But Aki is hiding something from Hitsugi. He's secretly in love with his best friend and Hitsugi has no idea. The week will certainly be interesting to say the least.

...

There he was. In his dimly lit bedroom, alone. Histugi leaned heavily against the headboard of his bed, writhing and moaning in pleasure as he touched himself. Blasting from his stereo was Hageshisa to Kono Mune no Naka de Karamitsuita Shakunetsu no Yami by Dir En Grey. Hitsugi touched himself to the sound of his favorite song, the sound of the voice of the man he had a secret crush on. Of course Hitsugi had never even met the man but the pictures he's seen and the man's voice alone had poor, innocent Hitsugi obsessed. The red haired man could hardly ever get through one of Dir En Grey's songs without getting turned on. And no amount of jerking off could relieve the sexual frustration he felt. So there he was, in his bed, breathing heavily, the occasional breathy moan escaping his lips, heat building in between his thighs as he stroked his length and whispered, "Kyo..."

...

Sometime later that night, around midnight, a very drunk friend of Hitsugi's stumbled to the guitarist's door. The bassist knocked loudly calling out Hitsugi's name in a slur or mumbles. Eventually the man managed to wake Hitsugi, who rushed to the door. Just as Hitsugi opened the door his friend collapsed.

"Aki... Why do you do this to yourself?" Hitsugi mumbled as he carefully collected his unconscious friend off his door step and drug him inside.

Hitsugi dumped Aki on the couch and removed his jacket and shoes so he wouldn't be too uncomfortable while he slept. Just before Hitsugi went back to his own room to sleep, Aki stirred.

"Hitsugi...?" Aki mumbled, barly able to get any words out because of his drunken slur.

"Aki, sleep now." Hitsugi responded sternly.

"Oh Hitsugi, you're so beautiful and I love you... _So much_!" Aki smiled as his jumbled words came out and almost rolled off the couch because of the wild arm motions he made.

Hitsugi smiled at his friend and covered him in a spare blanket before heading off to his own bed for the night.

...

The next day Hitsugi was up, bright and early, while Aki was trying to sleep off the previous night's hangover.

Aki groaned when he woke up, sheilding his eyes from the too bright lights. Hitsugi handed him a glass of sake to help and Aki greatfully accepted it.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Hitsugi smiled, happy to have his friend there since it wasn't often that they got to spend any time together.

Aki blinked and drank down the rest of his sake before replying. "Hey... What time is it?"

"Somewhere around noon. You don't have anywhere to be, right? You look a bit too sick to do very much."

"Oh, always so motherly and caring, Histugi. No, I don't have anywhere I needed to be. I was planning on coming over to visit you anyway but then I got too drunk and ended up here. So, Hitsu-chan, what do you want to do today?"

"Hmmm... Are you feeling well enough to go shopping with me? I need some new boots..." Hitsugi smiled at the thought of a whole day of shopping with his best friend.

"Fuck yeah! Hitsu-chan, I'd love to go shopping with you!"

Hitsugi hugged Aki tightly and replied, "You're amazing, Aki!" Aki smiled faintly and hugged Hitsugi back.


	2. Bound to Your Side, Trapped in Silence

_I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away_

_Bound to Your Side and Trapped in Silence, Just a Possesion._

Aki and Hitsugi wondered up and down the streets of a popular shopping districts, looking through several different stores, and before long their arms hurt from having so many bags to carry. Both men were smiling and laughing and having a good time just being together.

After a while, Hitsugi and Aki passed a lingerie store. Hitsugi nudged Aki. "I'd like to see _you_ wear some of that."

"Never in a million years! But if you want, I'll watch you try some of it on. I'll even pay for it if you want to buy anything." Aki replied, mockingly but at the same time seductively.

"Done." Hitsugi replied in the exact same tone as Aki. He smiled and veered into the store leaving Aki in shock, his mouth hanging open.

By the time Aki had recovered from the shock, the door was closing behind Hitsugi. "WAIT!" Aki called, rushing after his friend.

Hitsugi and Aki sorted through a couple of racks of underwear before finding a few items for Hitsugi to try on. Among these items were serveral colorful lacy thongs and matching see-through night gowns.

Eventually Hitsugi disappeared into the dressing room and Aki waited outside. After a moment Aki heard giggling coming from Hitsugi's room and Hitsugi cam out dressed in a bright orange thong and matching see-through nightgown. The nightgown was lacy at the top but then gave way to a transparent material and ended again slightly above Hitsugi's knees with more lace.

Aki was in shock as Histugi walked toward him. "So what do you think?"

Aki's mouth gaped open, let again in shock. Finally he regained his senses long enough to reply. "You... look fantastic!"

Hitsugi giggled and leaned down sexily towards Aki and whispered in his ear. "Pretty sexy, huh? Well, you're paying for it."

Hitsugi moved away and went to change back into his normal clothing. He returned with an armful of the frilly clothng which Aki payed for.

"What are you even going to do with all this anyway?" Aki asked, after having spent over two hundred dollars on Hitsugi.

"I dunno. Maybe I'll get you drunk and seduce you tonight." Hitsugi joked. Aki blushed and turned his face away.

And so the two men headed back towards Hitsugi's home.

...

Later that night Hitsugi and Aki had dinner on the couch while watching an old movie. The two men sat giggling and chatting throughout the whole movie. Hitsugi was so happy to spend time with his best friend. With Aki in a different band their schedules rarely gave them any time to see each other in between tours.

After the movie was over the two listened to an old X Japan album, snuggling and talking on the couch.

"Hey, Hitsugi..." Aki started. Hitsugi looked at Aki, sensing that he was going to say something of importance. "Well, I have the whole week off..."

Hitsugi sprang up and attacked Aki with a hug. "YOU'RE STAYING FOR A WHOLE WEEK?" Hitsugi replied excitedly.

"Yeah... I hope that's okay with you!" Aki said, while being suffocated by his friend's tight hug.

"OKAY WITH ME? I'M FUCKING ECSTATIC!" Hitsugi yelled excitedly, not letting go of his friend. "We never get to hang out! And now we get a _whole week_? Thank you so much for staying!"

Aki laughed, "I'm glad to stay here too! I missed you a lot on that last tour..."

Aki hugged the shorter guitarist back, loving the feeling of having Hitsugi in his arms. Even though Hitsugi wasn't his, Aki was content in the moment just to touch the man he'd been in love with for the past few months.

TBC


	3. Some Sort of Sick Satisfaction

_I'm Not Strong Enough To Stay Away_

_Some Sort of Sick Satisfaction_

The next morning Aki woke up to Hitsugi climbing into his bed and gently shaking him awake. Hitsugi was like a child in some sense. He always treated Aki the way he would an older brother. Mostly it was just his behavior that made Aki feel that way. And that the younger guitarist was always so trusting of Aki that Aki could hide even the biggest secrets from his friend if he wanted to. After he'd successfully awakened his friend, Hitsugi snuggled up next to Aki to enjoy the warmth of the other's body and the feeling of happiness he got from spending time with his best friend.

"Good morning, Gorgeous." Aki whispered to his friend as they lay on his bed. "Not wearing any of that nice underwear I bought you yesterday? So ungrateful."

The two men laughed as Hitsugi stuttered trying to find a good response. "Maybe later." He finally replied, blushing.

"You'll have to make it up to me somehow." Aki said, mocking seriousness.

"How would I make it up to you?"

Aki faced Hitsugi, his face dead serious as he replied. "Sexual favors, of course."

Hitsugi's eyes widened. Then he realized Aki was joking and the two men laughed. Hitsugi snuggled back into his place ith Aki.

...

Aki was distressed. As distressed as he was, he couldn't talk to Hitsugi about it. So he left Hitsugi's home for a few minutes to "take a walk" meaning go hide down the street and call Yomi.

Aki punched in the number and held the phone up to his ear, every ring he waited for Yomi to pick up felt like a year.

"Hello?" Yomi finally answered.

"Yomi! I need your help!" Aki replied quickly.

"Aki? What's the problem?"

Yomi waited patiently for Aki to respond. Aki sighed before continuing. "I'm in love with Hitsugi."

Yomi was shocked silent. As much as Yomi loved to talk, he just couldn't comprehend what Aki had just told him. Yomi took a deep breath. "Explain the situation."

So Aki quickly explained what had happened over the past few days and how he was spending the week with Hitsugi. Then Aki stayed silent as he wited for Yomi to reply with something. Anything. Aki needed help.

"Aki... First you need to calm yourself down and think this out. You know how delicate Hitsugi is. If you leave early, he'll be offended or upset. And even I don't know if he's gay or straight so I can't help you there. I think what Hitsugi needs the most right now is a good friend. Last tour he was acting strangly. Every chance he got he'd spend his time alone. He sounds really happy to have you there for him... I guess if you need to than you should tell him how you feel but if you're content not having him know then I suggest you keep this one little secret and stay his friend for now."

Aki tried to swallow the lump in the back of his throat and stayed silent for a minute thinking over Yomi's words. "You're probably right... But... I love him so goddamn much..."

"I'm sorry, Aki... But now you have to take care of Hitsugi."

"I will... Thanks Yomi." And with that Aki hung up. He slowly stood up and walked back towards Hitsugi's apartment.

TBC


End file.
